Saturday, February 07, 2004

It's two months until I go to S.America and I've paid for my tickets and insurance. So it's really going to happen. First, there's all kinds of shit I have to organise, like a Chilean working holiday visa, vaccinations, car repairs (automobiles: incredible, they really suck it out of you - it even costs money to get rid of them) and various other loose ends.

But whenever the reality hits home I am, to tell the truth, a little terrified. Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? Will I survive a whole year?

I'm somewhat worried that in four years back in New Zealand (most of which time I've spent antsy about getting away again) the all-consuming wanderlust has been dulled by creature comforts, a gradually rising income and the encroaching conservatism (or loss of naiivete?) of age. So, will I still be able to cope with the boring, depressing and nasty bits?

Last time I left New Zealand I told myself: "Things will be difficult; you will suffer. This is, in fact, what it's about" So they were and so I did, while I also had the best times of my entire life. But back then I was on some great odyssey of self-discovery - this time I suspect it might be harder to convince myself that suffering is the whole point.

I'll get there.

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